Legacy

Coming from a place of Fury. Never go to sleep with an angry mind so I saved it for waking up on my side of the bed.

Move two steps and three paces backwards, doubts plague me. Dementia ‘s grey cloak veils all I want to retain in my head.

The sheep get weary before I do.

I watch them sleep.

Wolf-like I want to smash through them. Fangs connect -impact on bone and tissue -a red massacre.

I need colour in my life.

This visceral creativity is swallowing me whole. I’m in the bottle – blurred images are all I see on the horizon.

Spin the bottle,maybe I will land in a place with less strife.

Cramming  in mouthfuls of

anxiety,

 self-loathing,

head battering, assault weapons of thoughts.

I’m bloated to the state that my discontentment leaves me, like a sleepy wide-eyed owl – manic in my state – shoving in fistfuls – I need to lucubrate.

Nothing sticks except the whiff of the end of a successful selling day at a  Parisian fish market.

I am the babe the market seller gave birth to. Times up for this broody bird to incubate.

Cord snapped with a fish gutting knife. Abandoned the moment money exchanged hands.

Only enough for a Meal for one. Survival is my greatest chance. Nurture myself and hone in on any innate talents now, so I can control the succession of Fates brass bands.

It is my birthday. I get one day to shine. Tomorrow I could be slapped away with one salty breathe,  inflicted wounds forgotten with yesterday’s newspapers headlines.

I came into this world with the cards I was dealt. I can cry a Seines- full of tears for the life that could have got caught up in the catch of the day fisherman’s net lines.

I refuse to be that inmate -on a bed of foliage, with one glassy eye, staring up at you. Doesn’t matter how well you dress me up – my fate is not to be found in a 5-star Michelin restaurant.

Grill me, poach me,  puree me- see what happens when you try and throw me in the oil fryer.

This amphibian has wings of hope.  Higher consciousness has blessed me with a generous grant.

I soar above all the conventional career options for my kind.

I will never be normal and for that, I will not apologise.

Evolved -a hybrid.

I have to decline your maverick binds.

Today I walk with two legs  and two eyes looking forward. Destiny is a start and thanks to you, dear mother,for letting me find my own way.

 I took my life into my own hands – my heart beats with passion,drive, ambition and the fear.

I have made it this far – so either stick by me and support me in what I do or feel free to stand out of my way and go astray.